I hate THIS feeling!!

Sitting alone in my bedroom at 6.00pm drives me to think bout 'it'..i hate this feeling! i hate the reality that i need 'it'! i dont wanna mention what 'it' means to me..'it' might be disastrous to my heart n my feeling! 'it' has got me into TROUBLES too many times..'it' has brought down my tears too many times..it is all about 'it'...all the things that 'it' has done to me are just like an ecstasy pill..it is such a disaster but it makes me feel happy and alive! but as an ecstasy is dangerous, 'it' is taboo.. 'it' is never meant for me..'it' will never bring me into the reality..'it' is just a "wonderful'" dream of mine..'it' will never realize how 'it' has made my life happier n exciting...

too many kind of 'its' come begging for me..but i only stick on my one n only 'it'..i know..this post might bring out a perception (as if i care)..i dont mind..i have used to listen to perceptions bout me..this post is really meant for 'it'..i know 'it' is a literate..hope that 'it' would read or at least have a glance on this post...

i feel hurt n drowned by this! but this is the price that i need to pay when i deal with taboo!